Do you sometimes wonder why you can achieve some things but not others? I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. When I look back on what I wanted to achieve in the last quarter some things came easily and other things are still on my to do list!
On a personal note, a good example is my desire to lose weight. I was successful in losing weight last year but reached a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. With the advent of the New Year, losing weight has been back on my mind and at the weekend I felt ready to start again. But why was I ready now and not 6 months ago?
Well as an NLP Practitioner I think in “well formed outcomes”. This is the opposite of “problem thinking”. Problem thinking questions are questions like: When did it start? Whose fault is it? Why haven’t you solved it yet? You may have heard these questions many times at work when things have gone wrong. With outcome thinking it is more useful to ask what we want instead of the current state of affairs and what we are going to do about it.
To solve the problem you have to have an outcome in mind. Why not try it for yourself by answering the following 9 questions?
- What do you want?
The answer to this question must be stated in the positive. Don’t ask what you don’t want or what you want to avoid! If you find it difficult to come up with a positive answer, then turn your negative into a positive by asking “what do I want instead”.
So for me, instead of not wanting to be fat, my positive outcome is that I want to get my old jeans on. In a business context if you want to reduce your debt, your positive outcome might be to improve your cash flow.
- Evidence – how will you know you are succeeding/have succeeded?
On your journey towards your outcome think about what you will measure to know you are on the right track. Ask yourself now what you will see, hear and feel when you reach your outcome.
To get into my old jeans I will lose 1-2lbs per week and within a month I will hope to have lost at least an inch off my waist. I’ll know I have achieved my outcome when I can see myself easily getting into my old pair of jeans, they will feel really comfortable and won’t pinch and I will hear people complimenting me on how good I look!
- Specifics: Where, when and with whom?
As well as considering specifically what you do want, consider specifically what you don’t want.
I specifically want to be able to get into my old jeans by the beginning of April when I won’t be able to continue to wear the thick woolly jumpers which are currently hiding my midriff! I specifically want to feel thinner around my tummy area. I am going to a social event in April with some friends who haven’t seen me for a while and I want to achieve my outcome by then so they will notice a difference.
- Resources: What resources do you have?
Resources fall into 5 categories. Objects; people; role models; personal qualities; and money.
For my weight loss the objects might be low fat cookery books, TV programmes, music tapes to relax me. Sometimes I eat out of boredom so objects like taking a bath or giving myself a pedicure at difficult moments might help. A photo of me at the start of my weight loss might be a good motivator and I’ve decided to hang the jeans on my wardrobe door so I see them each morning!
People who can help with my weight loss are my son, who could keep his sweets hidden away from me! I will tell my mum what my goals are and ask her to check in with me once a week to see how I am getting on.
Role models – inspirational stories in magazines about people who have already achieved their goals would be good to keep on hand. Joining a diet club where I can talk to the leaders about their experiences might also help me.
Personal qualities – I know that when I set my mind to something I can achieve it. I also know I have succeeded in the past and have the capability to do it.
Money – I hope that I will save money from not buying bottles of wine and extra treats! I may have to pay to attend a slimming club if I need that extra support and know I can afford that from the saving on treats!
- Control: Can you start and maintain this outcome?
You need to ask yourself whether reaching your desired outcome is under your direct control or whether others may need to help you get to your outcome. If you do need others to help, ask yourself how you can persuade them or what can you offer them to get their help.
With my weight loss goal, most of it is under my control. I may need support from my mum or from a slimming club but can get that through explaining what I need and paying my weekly club subscription.
- Ecology: What are the wider consequences?
This is an area that many people don’t consider when setting their desired goals and is a very important failure factor. Ask yourself what the opportunity cost of achieving this outcome is. What will you have to give up? What’s good about the present situation which you might lose? What might also happen when you get your outcome?
With my weight loss the inevitable trade off for me is the affect it will have on my social life! For example, I enjoy going out for Sunday lunch at the weekend or inviting friends round to my house for a home cooked meal. I also enjoy a glass of champagne on a Saturday night. So the opportunity cost of fitting into my jeans by April might be that I will not be able to do these things or else I will need to change some of my habits in order to continue to lose weight whilst doing them.
What I could do is make sure I go out for a long run before I go for Sunday lunch, or change my dinner party menu to foods which fit with my regime. I will probably have to face the fact that I’ll need to give up the Champagne, but maybe I can treat myself with a nice glass of Aqua Libra! (not quite so good, I know, but getting into my jeans is more important to me!)
When I get to my desired weight there maybe detractors who think I might have gone too far, who “prefer” my old self. There maybe those who don’t like it because it changes the relationship between us. I will need to consider how I will deal with them and what I will say to them.
- Identity: Is the outcome in keeping with who you are?
When considering business outcomes you should consider this at the personal and organisational level. Does the desired outcome fit with the business culture? Does agreeing to do a project at work which will involve late nights and time away from home satisfy your family values and who you are?
For my weight loss outcome, being thinner and fitter doesn’t detract from who I am. I see myself as an energetic, enthusiastic individual and losing weight brings me closer to that identity.
- How do your outcomes fit together?
You need to consider whether the outcome is too large to get your head around or too small not to be motivational. If it is too big, break it into smaller outcomes, too small then link smaller outcomes together to make a more substantial outcome which is motivational.
I would like to get into my old jeans, that’s two dress sizes to lose and to me this seems a small enough outcome to be achievable by April but not so big that I think it is totally impossible.
- Action Plan: What to do next?
Once you have answered all these questions you are ready to act or delegate. In a business context, you need to let those who you delegate to know what the bigger picture is. For example, two builders were once asked what they were doing. The first said they were laying bricks, the second that they were building a wonderful house. Guess which builder was more motivated and worked better?
For me this means calling my mum and letting her know the bigger picture of what my desired outcome is and to ask for her support. It also means posting this blog!
If you have any goals which you are struggling with, why not try working through these questions and see if it makes the outcome more achievable. I’d love to hear how you get on!
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